Friday, December 19, 2008 11:59 PM
Sometimes i do feel that things aren't fair to me.. But well, i let it be. There's always things aren't fair to everyone, right? I seriously hate my family. But what to do, they still my family. Forgive and Forget. I will remember. Maybe i've think too much after knowing the truth. Crying doesn't solve anything. Yet, im crying now.. Maybe i will feel better.
I feel so bad and unease. Thinking its my fault and felt im like a murderer.. I dun want things to happen like this.. Maybe i should listen to my six sense in the first place. And its hurt. I can hear my heartbeat more clearly every minute. I don't like the feeling, its scary - like heart can pop out anytime.
Scenes keep flashing across my mind every seconds. Making me could not sleep night after night. I know this can't be going every night. And i force myself thinking positive, well, failed.
I helped you not because of anything, cause you're my friend. And i never ever thought of getting any returns from you.
Maybe i've accept the fact.
Or maybe not.
My heart has gone haywire.
And i don't want anything to change because of my problem. Dun worry, my dear friends. I will get better. I promise this will be the last ever ugly post i ever blog.. And and i promise my dear friends, i will smile more. No more sadness. =DMaybeimbluffingmyself.itstimetogetheal.theresauglyscardeepinmyheart.iwillactmorecarefullyinfrontofyouall.idkificanbreakthisfearofseeingyouagain.thethoughtofyoumademyheartfeelssoweird.